Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Mother's guilt has swept over me this evening. Tomorrow it will have passed (I'm hoping). 2010 is the first year both my boys are at school. Both boys came home this afternoon with their 'parent helper' notice for term 2. Here is my issue. A small one at that but significant to the point it has bothered me this evening.
I'm one of those mums who likes to contribute to the school community. While they attended kindergarten for four years I had my stint on the parent committee. Personally I feel I get alot out of my involvement in contributing to the kindergarten and school communities, my assistance in some small way contributes to the bigger picture. The boys love mum being there to help.
Since starting uni again only 3 weeks ago, I've quickly realised and accepted the fact I can't be a yes person to everything these days, that is if I want to study, do well and pass. Already life is busy, family commitments, work commitments, writing commitments and now study. The time has come in my life where I need to think before I say yes. In the past I willingly said yes to plenty and along the way caused myself and the family unnecessary stress. Had I considered more thoughtfully what I was saying yes to, life at times could have been less stressful for us all I'm sure.
I've allowed myself to accept that from now on I will on occasion say no to a coffee with friends, no to a night out and no to some of the requests for parent help at the school. I've said yes to cutting fruit for the preps morning tea. I've said yes to contributing and assisting with the compiling of the school yearbook. I can't say yes to being a parent helper in both the boys grades. Even if it is only once a week, once a fortnight or once a month. Time moves fast these days, the week moves fast, the term is over before we know it.
Tonight I've made the somewhat hard call of saying no to helping in my big boy's grade 2 class for term 2. I'm feeling uncomfortable with my decision. I feel I am letting him down. But I realise I can't do it. I feel it is fair that I offer to assist with my younger boy's class, this is his first year at school. I did the same for my oldest when he was in prep. I always feel such a need to treat them equally, this decision is a first for me. An occasion where I am giving to one and not the other. I know I'll be asked why aren't I helping in the grade 2 class. This mum isn't superwoman and can't say yes to everything these days, I am sure left feeling guilty with my decision.